I suppose people call this "snark" these days, but this was the original title of the page from 2009.
Here, we intend to break down the front of shop for Access Animus Healing. Page by page. Claim by claim.
With any luck, we might even be able to bring some humor to this otherwise dismal subject.
In the interest of fairness and transparency,*here*is a link to the actual wesbite, so you can be sure we're not taking anything out of context.
Ashton: No better place to begin than the beginning!
Ashton: The only thing you'll be exploring with these fucks are your tolerance for pain and bullshit.
Penny: LOL @ "Healing the living." If you know, you know.
Ashton: I cannot possibly think of a less safe place to be than with these guys. Especially when they still had their compound.
Penny: Chernobyl?
Ashton: I was more thinking the Hadron Collider.
Penny: Oh! Or maybe Galatea Deep?
Ashton: They already though of that, Pen.
Ashton: By "recent events", they mean the 50-person-strong campaign to expose all the brainwashing, scamming, and sheer fucking brutality they engaged in.
Penny: I really hope Sam comes out of hiding for this. I know for a fact he could end all their careers single-handedly with what happened to him.
Ashton: Unfortunately, as powerful a story it is, it's just not ours to tell. The ball is in Sam's court.
Penny: Anyway, I'm also dying at all this "our community" talk. What fucking community? The one your power-hungry asses drove into the ground? The one that's about to get swallowed up by these freakish tides if AAH doesn't give up it's chokehold on our local government so they can *do something*? That community?
Ashton: I don't know what's cringier, the thin veneer of PR talk, or all the damn ocean references. Like, we get it, you're located on the coast, woopdee-doo.
Ashton: For the love of all that's good and pure in this world, DO NOT GIVE THESE PEOPLE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION!
Coming Soon!
Coming Soon!
Coming Soon!