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Info Guide

Your #1 Factual Resource For All Things Las Piedras

Over the years of us running this website, we've come to realize that information we view as common knowledge may not be so obvious to our readers.

After all, it's called the world wide web for a reason! We can't expect all our readers to be from the US of A, let alone from California.

So, we've decided to make a comprehensive guide to Las Peidras, as well as many related topics that will come up frequently in our articles.

Las Piedras County, CA

I specify "CA" here because one of our old readers let us know there's another Las Piedras, in Chile I believe. All references to Las Piedras are regarding the coastal county located in southern California.

If it could be found on any maps anymmore, you'd find us between Ventura and Santa Barbara.

Regarding that, after AAH's glorious leaders went into hiding, all public information regarding Las Piedras seems to have mysteriously gone missing.

Pardon my sarcasm, but it doesn't take a genius to put together what's going on here.

At any rate, here's a quick run-down of some key areas around Las Piedras:

  1. Velero Bay: The biggest and most well-known city in Las Piedras. Home of the (formerly) annual Arts festival and Velero Bay Plaza, basically the only mall in LP.

  2. Green Line Beach: Beach located in Velero Bay. Known for big waves, kelp that looks like creepy tentacles inside those waves, and having more sea glass than sand on the shore.

  3. Serpent's Cove: Our main stomping ground. Hot spot for paranormal and cryptozoological activity. Used to be the main tourist attraction for LP before AAH fucked everything up with their bullshit. Also home of the Serpent's Cove Mining Company, which is entirely in AAH's pockets and is their main source of income (as well as a source of environmental damage. Which is super cool given the state of the sea level these days -_-)

  4. Keyule: Former suburb located on the other side of the 101 from Serpent's Cove. Used to have the whole nuclear family and white fence vibe until AAH started taking over all the local government positions. People still live there, but it's basically a town-sized drug den now.

  5. Abismo: Used to be the resident cesspool of LP, but now it's a straight-up ghost town. A couple of Assistants from AAH still poke their noses around the compound like they're looking for something.

  6. Doran's Peak: The biggest mountain in Las Piedras that also has a cave system inside of it. Also used to be somewhat popular with tourists before the incident with Mr. Rayne's expedition. Don't worry, we'll get to it.

Serpentine Canyon

Located just off the coast of Serpent's Cove, this is the centerpiece of all the anomalies that have been happening around Las Piedras.

Without sounding like a Sea Sights episode, the main points of interest are the plankton that have been giving coral and shellfish weird neon coloration, Galatea Deep - an impossibly deep point within the canyon, and the still unknown black and purple spikey beings that keep ensnaring the local marine life.

Even among genuine, non-AAH backed marine biologists, there's a lot of speculation around what could be causing these oddities.

The current prevailing theory is a possible meteor strike, which may have contained some source of radiation which mutated the plankton and caused the unusual depth of the canyon.

We think someone read Color Out of Space and said "Yeah, close enough."

Access Animus Healing

And this is the centerpiece of how shit everything's gotten within this county.

We'll get more into it in our sporking of their website, but the basic facts are that "Sir" Dressler had an intense acid trip next to the cove, then he dated five girls at the same time and they became the founders of this """"organization.""""

They started with the whole "free love grass 'n ass" vibe, but by the early 80's after Lori Ramos's (whomst we stan) exposé, they realized this looked a little too obviously culty.

They rebranded as a self-help group, made their gaudy-ass compound in Abismo, and then took over the whole county piece by piece.

This is an intensely abridged version of their history. More information can be found in our commentary of their website and in our ~anonymous benefactor's~ YouTube Channel.

[Link Here]

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